Let people let you go so they can grow.

October 14, 2016

Let people let you go so they can grow.

This week has been a week full of lessons for me. I’ve recorded them all as I’ve learned them and I wanted to share one of them today. I am a person who has been blessed with an endless amount of wonderful friends. I always joke that I was not blessed with money, but instead, my blessing comes in the form of friendships and family. In fact, if my relationships with my friends and family could be adequately compared to money, I would be considered very wealthy.

Being able to have these really meaningful friendships is not something I take lightly. Although this wasn’t always the case, these days, I work really hard to be available, as much as possible, to show up for the people in my life. It’s important to me to be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a prayer partner and anything else that friendship means to my friends. I’m prepared to make sacrifices that my friends would never ask me to make. I am trying to be to them more than I need for them to be to me. Needless to say, I am invested.

This week has been a week filled with such deep reflections and I’ve come to realize this about myself: Being invested means that I am so involved in ways where I want to hold on to the people in my life forever. Friendships are not the kind of relationships where a covenant is made, but to me, all of my friendships are based on a covenant that I have made alone to them. I fully expect everyone to be here forever and I will be here for them. No matter where they go and where life takes them. I am always prepared to hold on forever. That’s unrealistic, but that is the way I love. I realize that I see my friendships like I see my marriage. I will drive four hours just to go spend a couple of hours with a friend. That’s a problem. I realize that my desire to hold on to everyone I love is not necessarily beneficial to them.

As much as I am always talking about letting people go who do not benefit my life or my own journey, I never considered the fact that the people in my life need to have the freedom to do the same. Sadly, for me anyway, as much as I think I love them, I just might be the person who they need to let go of. Maybe the person has outgrown me. Maybe they want to accomplish something great and my life and influence is in direct opposition to that. Maybe they’ve met someone and my role in their life has changed. Maybe I am that leaf they need to shed in order to move into a different season in their lives. I should be willing to let the people in my life simply move on from me.

I believe that all of us are here to teach each other something. It could be a multitude of lessons that span over a lifetime. Or maybe it’s one lesson, meant to be learned in a single day or weeks. Maybe it’s for a certain transitional period in our lives and once that job is done, once that lesson has been learned, it’s time to move on. It’s time for the person to let you go and go be a teacher in a different capacity. As individuals, we have to be able to be okay with that. We have to be able to know when our purpose has been served. And if we can’t see it, then at least be willing to allow the person who does see it to let us go. The lesson for today: We have to let people let us go so they can grow.

Love Freed Me



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September 12, 2016
Love found me
I exist because
love found me
Weak because
I had lost a fight
Involving my heart
Left to rot
Severely wounded
And discarded
Abandoned, I waited
Timid and inadequate
Deserted
Too exhausted
To move, forgotten
Wings broken,
Amor shattered to pieces
Afraid of darkness
In the midst of the sadness
And confusion it found me.
Drowning in anger and pain,
longing for the unattained
Impossible to sustain
Contrite that I had lost the fight
Ashamed that I thought I could win
love found me.
Love carried me
Love found me and isolated me
until it healed me.
Love healed me.
Love sustained me
Love repaired my brokenness and then
Just like that, with a new pair of wings
and a new golden armor, polished
It set me free
Love set me free to flourish and fly.
Love found me.
Love carried me.
Love repaired me.
Love restored me.
Love healed me.
Love sustained me
Love freed me.
I exist because love freed me.

–Kerlande Patterson–

Why am I blogging?




Months ago, I listened to a talk on TED by Emilie Wapnick. In this talk, I was introduced to the term “multipotentialite.” It was one the most enlightening things I had ever heard.  I don’t know if the term was coined by Emily, but it describes someone who has multiple passions and tells us that it’s ok to pursue them all.  She explains that many people have multiple passions that they do not pursue, because society has primed us to believe that pursuing more than one of those passions would be inconsistent and irresponsible. Until that day, confused was the best term I had to explain who I believed I was.

As a multipotentialite, an introverted one at that, blogging is one of those passions I have chosen to pursue, thanks to Emilie Wapnick and TED. That talk has profoundly affected my life and I will be sharing that journey here. This blog will be filled with my thoughts, opinions, insights, passions and things that inspire me.

–Kerlande–